Trigun X-mas stuffs!
by Pirate Cap'n Spazz
Summary: Umm... a little Trigun Ficcy thingy that I thought would be funny for the holidays! Enjoy!
1. Episode 1/ Episode 2 (part 1)

**Chibi Demon Shinobi Productions Present: Trigun Christmas Stuff**

**Episode One - Santa Isn't Real?!**

Knives and Vash were lieing in their beds. It is December 24 and Vash wouldn't shut up.

"I wonder what Santa Claus is gonna bring us! Don't you, Knives?"

"No."

"Why not, Knives? You where good this year, right?! Please tell me you were good!!" Vash said frantically. 

Knives sighed.

"Yes, Vashu I have." he said boredly. 

Vash smiled.

"That's good."

"You know Santa Claus isn't real, right?"

Silence. Then whimpering. Now you know the whimpering turns to crying, and it did.

"Vashu? Don't cry!! Rem will hear you!" Knives said, sitting straight up in his bed. Toolate. Vash was already out of his bed yelling for Rem.

"Rem!! _REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM!!!!!_" Vash yelled, running to her room.

Vash got there and went in Rem wasn't there. So he sat there thinking a moment. 

Then Knives came in.

"Vashu."

"Rem must be in the community room talking to Santa, making sure Knives got something... That must be it..." he said to himself. He turns and leaves the room, totally oblivious to Knives, and runs to the community room.

"My god... How could Vash be so _stupid_...? Oh well, 'bout time he learns the truth." Knives said to himself, walking after Vash.

When Knives got there, he saw Rem trying to comfort a crying Vash.

"See, Vashu?! Didn't I tell you?! Santa Claus isn't real!! I was Right!!" he said, Rem and Vash look at him. 

Vash sniffled.

"I was crying because the Tooth Fairy isn't real." Vash sais. 

Knives face faults.

"_**W-H-A-T?!**_ No! How could that be?! The Tooth Fairy must be real!!!" he sobbed, Rem huged him.

"It's ok, sweetie! The reason I was putting out the presents, when you saw me, because Santa had to get to the other Seeds ships and asked me to put them out. And you know I'm allergic to oatmeal cookies, so I couldn't have eaten those." Rem said in a soothing voice, smoothing his hair. He noddes his head.

"Well, I'm gonna **sniff** go back to bed..." he said and trudges off. Vash followed him.

Once the two boys are out of earshot, Rem chuckled to herself.

"Knives almost figured it out!"

**Episode One - 3ND**

**Episode Two - Decemberween Party**

Narrator: Everyone is at the Gung-Ho-Guns Gang hideout. When I say everyone, I mean everyone, Vash, Millie, Meryl, Wolfwood, Knives, Legato, Midvalley, and some other people I can't remember. There's X-Mas decorations every where and it's disgustingly cheerful. Vash got some punch and went over to his brother.

Vash: Hey, Knives!

Knives: Go away.

Vash: Why? I just wanna talk!

Knives: That's why. Remind me to kill Legato for talking me into having this party.

Vash: Ok. Y'know how Rem's favorite color was red?

Knives: Yeah, so?

Vash: What if her favorite color was something else?

Knives: **chuckles** Yeah, what if it was purple?

Vash: ;O.o'

Legato: I'm bored.

Midvalley: Then why'd you suggest this party?

Legato: 'Cause I was bored.

Midvalley: ...............

Narrator: **in a bored voice** Then, for no reason, a poofy cloud of baby blue smoke appeared in the middle of the room. Once it cleared, there was a girl standing in the middle wearing a black hoodie that said L33T N1NJ4 , black pants, black boots, and had a ninja-to attached to her back.

Azi: Hi Everyone!!

Vash: _NOOOO!!!_ Don't make me do anything!!!!

Azi: What? All I'm doing is bringing everybody presents!

Vash: No!

Knives: Should we be afraid of her, Vashu?

Vash: **under his chair** **YES!!!**

Narrator: Azi just smiles as Vash trembles under his chair, Knives sweatdrops. Millie is getting punch, and Midvalley and Wolfwood are having an intelligent conversation on dryer lint. Legato is, well... let's just say he's a bit aggravated by the Simon game Middie gave him...

Legato: **glares at the Simon game** I will master you... _and_ the key chain version too...

Azi: I have a friend I wanna introduce to you, too!

Vash: >. 

Millie: **screams/laughs** A high chibi ninja is drinking the punch!!

Azi: Huh? Wha? Oh, that's my friend! Chibi Kakashi! **hugz Chibi Kakashi**

Chibi Kakashi(CK): Can't... Breathe... ;;;O_\

Legato: It's turning purple... **pokes it** Is it... fruity?

Azi:+= -__\ You makin' fun of Chibi Kakashi?! **jabs Legato in the side with a pointy stick**

Legato: Ow! Sorry! Sorry!

Vash: **whispers to Knives** Toldya she's scary!

Knives: Hmp. I'm not scared of a little girl.

Narrator: And Knives proceeds to walk over to Azi and the almost suffocated Chibi Kakashi. She let go so he can breathe.

Knives: You! Little girl! Do you know who's flunky you just jabbed in the side?

Azi: 'Little'...?! +=-_\ I ain't little! I look little to you 'cause your freakin' 8 foot something!! Don' call me li-?!

CK: **somehow covered Azi's mouth** So doesn't mean it! She's sorry, I'm sure!! ;;;^_\

Azi: **pulls CK off** No! I ain't sorry! Don' be callin' me 'little' or yer gonna get hurt!

Knives: How can one of a lower species hurt a higher being? I'd like to see you try!

Azi: Heh heh heh... You wanna see me try? You'll hafta wait 'cause I gotta give everyone their presents! :P

Knives: Huh? **falls over anime style**

Narrator: Azi takes out a bag from hyper space and starts digging around in the bag. Middie and Wolfwood stop their new conversation on Britney Spears **cough, hack, wheeze, falls over dead** and watch Azi. Meryl is drinking punch and working on her report. Millie is a little tipsy 'cause someone **cough** Vash! **cough** spiked the punch. Vash is still under the chair. Azi found a present and tossed it to Middie.M/p> 

Azi: Now don' get the wrong idea! I still hate yer guts! My mom grounded me fer a week 'cause of your dish washing!

Midvalley: What izzit?

Wolfwood: Open it, idiot.

Midvalley: >P Don' be tellin' me what to do!

Wolfwood: **trying to grab the present** Well, if you won't open it, I will!!!

Azi: Are you sure they aren't related? Oh! Here's another one! **takes it out, opens it and throws it in Knives' face** Ah, Cherry Pie in the face... Such a classic.

Knives: **twitch, twitch** **I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!** **starts chasing Azi around**

Azi: **running from Knives, writing something down on a piece of paper, then throws it above Knives' head** Haha!!

Knives: Huh? **an anvil falls on his head** Ouch... **BOOM!** Ooh... Pain...

Azi: **sits in Knives' chair** Hmm... Where's your present, Vashu...?

Vash: Does it explode? >. 

Azi: **blink, blink, smiles, sweatdrops** Heavens, no!

Narrator: Azi digs in the bag a bit and pulls out a pink elephant, a kitchen sink, and finally a slip of paper.

Vash: Huh? **takes it, still under the chair**

Azi: **smiles, then is lookin' in her bag**

Midvalley: **sweatdrops** _'How to Play the Saxophone'_? What the hell?! I know how to play!!!

Azi: No... You know how to blow stuff up by playing a note.

Vash: **stands straight up, the chair falls over and gets Azi in a bear hug** _THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!!_

Meryl: Jeez... What did she get him?

Narrator: On the slip of paper it says 'three years free doughnuts at Krispey Kream and Dunkin' Doughnuts'.

Azi: **face starts turning blue** Can't... Breathe...

Knives: **twitching on the floor**

CK: **poking Knives** Wow, Azi! You didn't even need to use a jutsu!

Azi: It's called being an author.

Legato: **attempting to play Simon** Blue, green, yellow, blue, blue, red! No! Wrong! Crap!

Azi: We really need to get that boy some help.

Vash: Yup.

Azi: **pops up behind Millie** **HEY MILLIE!!!!**

Millie: Ack! Oh, hi Azi!

Azi: Here's yours! **holds out a pink package**

;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ 

Azi: Well, I "rewrote" this 'cuz the formatting crap didn't come out and this should be easier to read and stuff. I also updated the whole 'sailor senshi' thing. I'm a fricken' Chuunin level ninja! XD And yes, I used my Chibi no Jutsu on Kakashi-sensei and dragged him there!!


	2. Episode 2 (part 2)

**Chibi Demon Shinobi Productions Present: Trigun Christmas Stuff**

Episode Two - Decemberween Party - Part Two

Narrator: Azi held out the package and Millie smiled and took it from Azi because it seemed to be burning her hands, but more as 'cause it was for her.

Millie: Oh, thank you very much, Azi!

Azi: **putting her hands in water** N-no problem!

Knives: **twitches on the floor** _I'll get youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu_ @__________@

Legato: **has stopped playing Simon and notices Knives** Master!

Azi: I don't think I'm gonna give him my present... ;=^_\

Meryl: Oh boy, here we go...

Azi: **sits back down in Knives' chair** And I was hoping for nothing sappy.

Legato: **is chibi** /T-\\ Oh no! Master! Are you all right?

Knives: @_______@ But Rem! I wanna bake cookies for you!!!

Meryl: **spits up her drink**

random people thingies: _Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!_

Midvalley: Where'd that come from?

Wolfwood: No idea...

Chibi Kakashi (CK): Azi, you should do something. It's your fault. **sips some punch**

Azi: Bu-but it's funny! Ok... not _that_ funny....

CK: _I'll use Thousand Years of Pain_!

Azi: Ack! Fine, fine... 

Narrator: Azi is a only a Chuunin ninja, but a "master" writer. She takes out a notebook and pen and writes something upon it and throws it on Knives.

Azi: Heh... This'll bring him back, but scare 'im too...

Narrator: Then, outta nowhere, literally, nowhere, cherry blossoms come and smother Knives. Some of the flowers disappear and Knives is fine.

Knives: _**EW!! PINK FLOWERS!!!!**_

Azi: Sorry, I just so happen to like those flowers! >P

Knives: **starts laughing** You? You like something girlie?!

Azi: **eyebrow twitches** Vashu! May I _please_ hurt Knives?!

Vash: I don't know... He might get seriously hurt...

Knives: **waving his hands, shaking his head 'no'**

Azi: You can make it my Christmas present! **all chibi & crap**

Vash: **looks in his pockets** I don't have any money on me... So, I guess it's ok then...

Azi: Heh heh heh...

CK: **smacks his forehead** Oh boy... Just don't kill him, Azi.

Azi: I won't. I won't. C'mere Knives!

Knives: **screams like a little girl & runs**

Azi: Fine then! You won't get your Christmas present!

Knives: **screeches to a stop** What is it?

Azi: **comes up and whaps him up side the head with a steel reinforced 'Washuu's Paper-Fan' (c)** That! **goes back to her -erm- Knives' seat and takes another look in her bag** Ok come on! I thought I put the rest of 'em in here! **is in the bag** 

Knives: @_____@ Ouch... 

Narrator: Out of the bag comes three purple striped pants, a ferret, UFO catchers dolls of Kakashi, Vash, and Legato. These three sweatdrop. Finally she pops her head out of the bag.

Azi: Yo! Wolfwood! Heads up!

Wolfwood: Huh? **gets hit in the face with a small pakage** Ouch...

Narrator: Middie laughs at Wolfwood and he pours egg nog (from who knows where) down the back of Middie's shirt and he drops his book. Everyone laughs. Wolfwood opens his package. It's a book.

Wolfwood: I already have this book, Azi.

Azi: **holding the ferret** Really? I was hoping you didn't... Oh well, you can exchange it I guess. **fake pout** Well, lessee... What do I have... Aha!! Meryl-san! I have something for you! >3

Meryl: What? **looks at Azi suspiciously**

Azi: **holds out a blue package** It'll help with your work load, believe me! >D

Meryl: Eh...? **takes the package and unwraps it**

Narrator: And lo and behold! A brand new shiny laptop persacom! In the shape of.... Vash?!

Meryl: Just what the hell is this? ¬_¬

Azi: It's a persacom, and it's all yours! All you hafta do is tell it to open the word processing program and just start talking, it'll record what you say, and save it and crap.

Meryl: Oh....

Millie: Turn it on, Sempai! ^_^

Meryl: Uh... Where?

Azi: It's ear. **pokes the ear**

persacom Vash (PV): **has gigantic chibi eyes** Hi! I'm Chibi Vashu! You can change my name if you wish, but first we must establish a password!

Meryl: M-My God.... It's... It's so cute!!! XD

;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ ;;^_\ 

Azi: Well, what will Meryl do with the Persacom Vash? Will she hug the chibi to bits? Or will she just use it for work? Who knows!! XD


End file.
